How do you ask your wife for a BJ?

[MDC 7,099]

Any subtle way to do this? Or do I just say "Hey honey - I'd really like to have my cack sucked tonight?"

 

34B

[Drizzay 696]

Well, I've never had to ask your wife. She just knows to do it...or she gets the hose again.

[MDC 7,099]

Well, I've never had to ask your wife. She just knows to do it...or she gets the hose again.

 

Well done.

[Drizzay 696]

Well done.

 

Don't mean to be an ass on a Saturday, but i saw a fish in and a barrel, and I had a gun.

[29 Guests 29]

I never have to.

[kutulu 1,659]

I ask her for a "hummer" . HTH

[Recliner Pilot 61]

I"m guessing with any biotch who has such low self esteem that she would be with MDC the only requirement to get a hummer from her is to wave a Bill Clinton $3 bill under her nose and in no time your balls will be bouncing off her chin(s).

[ZeroTolerance 584]

<phillybear> I don't ask, I pry the bi*ch's mouth open and ram my cack 6 inches down her throat while I inseminate her lungs. </phillybear>

[Saint Elistan 106]

If you want to ask...without really asking, use the old "coupon system". Get some construction paper and cut out a total of 20 squares, 10 for each of you. Come up with 10 different things you could do to / for one another and write them on the cards. Come up with some obligatory non-sexual things, but include 1 or 2 "Oral" cards in your coupons. Then you simply cash in.

 

Be sure to include some fine print about "only usable during non-football hours" for the sh!t you come up with for her coupons.

 

/end ghey

[Recliner Pilot 61]

If you want to ask...without really asking, use the old "coupon system". Get some construction paper and cut out a total of 20 squares, 10 for each of you. Come up with 10 different things you could do to / for one another and write them on the cards. Come up with some obligatory non-sexual things, but include 1 or 2 "Oral" cards in your coupons. Then you simply cash in.

 

Be sure to include some fine print about "only usable during non-football hours" for the sh!t you come up with for her coupons.

 

/end ghey

 

Not sure you can

 

/end ghey

 

that post.

 

You do realize once you post something on the innerwebs it is there forever............or at least until Owlgore invents something way cooler.

[GobbleDog 975]

Gently push her head south while we're kissing in bed... push a little harder if she doesn't realize the obvious.

 

Works evvytime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Tip: You might get more action if she doesn't think she has to swallow. Chicks hate that, but most chicks think guys aren't happy if they don't. I once mentioned to my wife it didn't matter to me... when I'm done I'm done. Swallow, spit, gargle... I could care less.)

[shotsup 832]

Gently push her head south while we're kissing in bed... push a little harder if she doesn't realize the obvious.

 

Works evvytime.

(Tip: You might get more action if she doesn't think she has to swallow. Chicks hate that, but most chicks think guys aren't happy if they don't. I once mentioned to my wife it didn't matter to me... when I'm done I'm done. Swallow, spit, gargle... I could care less.)

 

So I'm confused , do you spit, swallow or gargle ?

[KayJay1971 239]

Whip out your junk and repeat the following phrase exactly: "This cack ain't gonna suck itself." Works like a charm every time.

[star69 5]

tell her that its something u want the 2 of u to experience together

or pretend her feelings and thoughts matter to u chicks dig that

 

 

 

alsoitisatiptowashoffyourcheesymember

[dain11279 963]

If you were a real man you wouldn't have to ask.

[phillybear 366]

It's probably more of an effort for you giving her a blow job, since you have to inflate her first.

[kutulu 1,659]

(Tip: You might get more action if she doesn't think she has to swallow. Chicks hate that, but most chicks think guys aren't happy if they don't. I once mentioned to my wife it didn't matter to me... when I'm done I'm done. Swallow, spit, gargle... I could care less.)

 

I disagree...I think it feels better when the chick swallows, although either way is pretty focking good.

[edjr 6,578]

It's probably more of an effort for you giving her a blow job, since you have to inflate her first.

 

WINNAH!

[footballpowers 0]

I"m guessing with any biotch who has such low self esteem that she would be with MDC the only requirement to get a hummer from her is to wave a Bill Clinton $3 bill under her nose and in no time your balls will be bouncing off her chin(s).

 

 

For the love of god!!! Only a phag like you could turn a BJ thread political.

 

 

Not married, but when I'm angling for one I usually start off being extra nice or doing something they consider sweet. Start getting hot and heavy and whisper my request in their ear. Works everytime!

 

Well almost everytime. When Mrs. RP is watching Fox news, she sometimes will pass and will just allow me to ass fock her so she can continue watching!

[nzoner 937]

I disagree...I think it feels better when the chick swallows, although either way is pretty focking good.

 

 

 

I never have to ask,she knows that once she starts 69 is not far behind

[MedStudent 56]

Does she like peanut butter? Spread a little skippy on your cack and put it up to her mouth.

 

It works with my dog.

[RLLD 4,143]

"ask?".......

[KSB2424 3,148]

Her: Honey, I need the credit card to go fall shopping at the mall with my sister.

Me: Sure, but you gotta suck my cock

Her: Okay

 

Her: Sweetie, I really don't feel like cooking tonight, can we go out to eat?

Me: You gonna suck my cock when we get back then?

Her: Yeah, I guess.

 

Her: Babe, I got a speeding ticket on the way home from work, will you take care of it for me?

Me: :unzips pants:

 

At a certain point it just becomes a batering system.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

Well, I've never had to ask your wife. She just knows to do it...or she gets the hose again.

 

 

Quality.

 

[jerryskids 6,531]

It's probably more of an effort for you giving her a blow job, since you have to inflate her first.

Since this response has been covered by the esteemed representative from Filthy, I'll say in all earnest...

 

 

Why would anyone marry a woman who doesn't eagerly suck your shlong during sex? Shiot, there's billions of wimmen out there.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Since this response has been covered by the esteemed representative from Filthy, I'll say in all earnest...

Why would anyone marry a woman who doesn't eagerly suck your shlong during sex? Shiot, there's billions of wimmen out there.

Well I think that there are women who will eagerly blow you until you get married.

[MDC 7,099]

It's probably more of an effort for you giving her a blow job, since you have to inflate her first.

 

All phillybear has to do is wipe off the maggots.

[jerryskids 6,531]

Well I think that there are women who will eagerly blow you until you get married.

I weep for such men. Are you such a man? If so, I weep for you.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I weep for such men. Are you such a man? If so, I weep for you.

Nah. The Mrs. might not enjoy it or want to do it all of the time, but she does her duties.

[Lionsjunkie 1]

Got one last night during Colts-Cards game...wife came in wearing a Firewoman costume and said pull down your shorts

[Mephisto 15]

Any subtle way to do this? Or do I just say "Hey honey - I'd really like to have my cack sucked tonight?"

 

34B

 

When did you get married?

[Mephisto 15]

Her: Honey, I need the credit card to go fall shopping at the mall with my sister.

Me: Sure, but you gotta suck my cock

Her: Okay

 

Her: Sweetie, I really don't feel like cooking tonight, can we go out to eat?

Me: You gonna suck my cock when we get back then?

Her: Yeah, I guess.

 

Her: Babe, I got a speeding ticket on the way home from work, will you take care of it for me?

Me: :unzips pants:

 

At a certain point it just becomes a batering system.

 

That's what you call a "Freudian Slip." The truth is out there, and in your case, the examples are nice, but the truth is you're stuck with the "batering" system... the "masterbatering" system.

[shotsup 832]

Got one last night during Colts-Cards game...wife came in wearing a Firewoman costume and said pull down your shorts

 

Half Time ?

 

Couldnt she wait until the game was ovah ?

[peenie 1,896]

gee whiz.

since i'm the only real woman on this bored who really doesn't like to give bj's let me tell you what works for me:

dinner with drinks.

once i'm liquored up and if he's doing things right, i'm down to do anything.

 

so with that said, take your wife out, or bring take out home (so she doesn't have to cook) and get some alcohol and make her feel sexy and she'll do anything you want. if you look her in the eyes and whisper it to her especially after you've been kissing her and rubbing her breasts, she'll be turned on and you probably won't even have to ask. well if it were me you'd better ask or it won't ever happen, lol. think back when you guys were dating, treat her like that.

[jerryskids 6,531]

gee whiz.

since i'm the only real woman on this bored who really doesn't like to give bj's let me tell you what works for me:

dinner with drinks.

once i'm liquored up and if he's doing things right, i'm down to do anything.

 

so with that said, take your wife out, or bring take out home (so she doesn't have to cook) and get some alcohol and make her feel sexy and she'll do anything you want. if you look her in the eyes and whisper it to her especially after you've been kissing her and rubbing her breasts, she'll be turned on and you probably won't even have to ask. well if it were me you'd better ask or it won't ever happen, lol. think back when you guys were dating, treat her like that.

I weep for such men. Are you such a man? If so, I weep for you.

[peenie 1,896]

I weep for such men. Are you such a man? If so, I weep for you.

i'm not a man. i'm confused.

fock, a blow job is a damn chore if you don't like doing it.

do you just randomly go down on your wife?

no, but you would if you had some darn stimulation.

wth, i was just being honest.

[Me_2006 14]

Just ask. Or follow her around with it in your hand until she gets the message.

 

 

 

On a serious note, start messing around, set the mood, all that jazz. You're married so you know what she's into. Do that stuff, put her hand on your junk. She should know what to do. If not, just ask if she'll take care of that for you. If she says no, divorce.

 

Or you could do her first. But if you're just looking for a quick one before you go do something else, just ask. I mean, she's your wife. It's not like you can get it somewhere else (technically).

[IGotWorms 4,057]

gee whiz.

since i'm the only real woman on this bored who really doesn't like to give bj's let me tell you what works for me:

dinner with drinks.

once i'm liquored up and if he's doing things right, i'm down to do anything.

 

so with that said, take your wife out, or bring take out home (so she doesn't have to cook) and get some alcohol and make her feel sexy and she'll do anything you want. if you look her in the eyes and whisper it to her especially after you've been kissing her and rubbing her breasts, she'll be turned on and you probably won't even have to ask. well if it were me you'd better ask or it won't ever happen, lol. think back when you guys were dating, treat her like that.

 

That seems like a lot of trouble for a run-of-the-mill BJ. So every time MDC wants to get his willie wet he has to throw down $80 bucks on dinner and wine? That's just not economical, especially in a recession.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

That seems like a lot of trouble for a run-of-the-mill BJ. So every time MDC wants to get his willie wet he has to throw down $80 bucks on dinner and wine? That's just not economical, especially in a recession.

I think that peenie was suggesting the Dollar Value menu and a 40 oz'er.

[kutulu 1,659]

Whenever my wife asks me what I want for my birthday, father's day, XMASS, V.D., Flag Day, etc...I say "You know what I want"