cbfalcon 825 Posted December 13, 2016 The El Padrino would like to congratulate his warriors, Patweisers44 and White Wonder for their hard work this season. There is great honor in a hard fought fantasy football death, and I shall make sure your seasons are never forgotten. White Wonder, you have a bright future. You took over a franchise that was the worst in our league, but had numerous draft assets at it's disposable. You immediately used said assets to make your team competitive. Now comes the hard part, as you strive to climb from the middle to the top. But with your willingness to make trade offers and listen to them in return, you are on the El Padrino's radar as an owner to keep watch on. Patweisers44, The El Padrino found himself rooting quite hard for you last night. Some may say it's because The El Padrino always wants success for ex roster members like Tyler Efiert, Dez Bryant, and Mark Ingram, 2 of which let you down this week. For that I feel sorrow. Some may say it's because The El Padrino always supports those closest to him, as your franchise has battled fiercely with mine in recent seasons. Some may say it's because The El Padrino feels a kinship with past champions. But I, as league ruler, can simplify it. I call it love. The people are my children, I am their father. I shall hold them to my bosom and embrace them tightly. I embrace you tightly Pat. --- As for round 2, as usual the schedule is mistaken and must be corrected. The Peaches shall face the formidable Iron Fists. The El Padrino shall welcome the Romosexuals into our lair. You gladiators that are about to die, I accept your salutes. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,600 Posted December 13, 2016 I was close. too bad he dropped 3 easy ones. yep got a second I thought it was him on the bomb but it was the other white WR Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,229 Posted December 13, 2016 I scored more than every team but 1 this week Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,600 Posted December 13, 2016 Hey, Yankees! You can take your apology and your trophy... and shove it straight up your ass! And another thing, just wait till next year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 13, 2016 All Elway finals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,600 Posted December 13, 2016 Do we got match ups for the next round? Peaches should be an easy out for anyone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 13, 2016 Round 2: Iron Fisted Proctologists @ Peaches (Virgin Arena, Fantasyland USA) Romosexuals @ Dienasty El Padrino (Summers Eve Stadium, Doucheville Texas) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 13, 2016 Round 2: Iron Fisted Proctologists @ Peaches (Virgin Arena, Fantasyland USA) Romosexuals @ Dienasty El Padrino (Summers Eve Stadium, Doucheville Texas) The El Padrino is so powerful and efficient that we consider ourselves to simply be invincible in a skill based format. Over the course of a dynasty, we are Phil Ivey facing off in a cash game against 11 tourists in town for the weekend. But when forced to play a short stacked $5 sit and go with said tourists, The El Padrino is susceptible to randomness, which hurts us greatly. With this in mind, your savior does not care for this matchup. Do we have the best QB? Yes Do we have the best RB? Yes Do we have the best WR? Yes Do we have the best TE? Yes Do we have the best K? Yes Do we have the best Def? Yes Do we have the hearts of the fans? Yes Do we have the lust of the woman? Yes But are we at our best? No. The Gronkowski injury limits our explosive unstoppable two TE set. And we are facing an uphill battle in terms of weather. Our QB is currently scheduled to play a game with a high temperature of 1. The El Padrino's RBs face off against each other in sunny 17 degree weather. Our star WR is expected to play in snow. Unfortunately, this levels the playing field considerably, as the gambling halls within carriage ride of my kingdom have taken note and reduced your El Padrino to no more than a 15-22 point favorite, depending on which establishment you venture into. It's quite unfortunate. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 13, 2016 nobody is going to give me credit for my home stadium names? I thought they were pretty funny both weeks! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 13, 2016 nobody is going to give me credit for my home stadium names? I thought they were pretty funny both weeks! Credit isn't given. Credit is won via Championships. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,600 Posted December 13, 2016 The El Padrino is so powerful and efficient that we consider ourselves to simply be invincible in a skill based format. Over the course of a dynasty, we are Phil Ivey facing off in a cash game against 11 tourists in town for the weekend. But when forced to play a short stacked $5 sit and go with said tourists, The El Padrino is susceptible to randomness, which hurts us greatly. With this in mind, your savior does not care for this matchup. Do we have the best QB? Yes Do we have the best RB? Yes Do we have the best WR? Yes Do we have the best TE? Yes Do we have the best K? Yes Do we have the best Def? Yes Do we have the hearts of the fans? Yes Do we have the lust of the woman? Yes But are we at our best? No. The Gronkowski injury limits our explosive unstoppable two TE set. And we are facing an uphill battle in terms of weather. Our QB is currently scheduled to play a game with a high temperature of 1. The El Padrino's RBs face off against each other in sunny 17 degree weather. Our star WR is expected to play in snow. Unfortunately, this levels the playing field considerably, as the gambling halls within carriage ride of my kingdom have taken note and reduced your El Padrino to no more than a 15-22 point favorite, depending on which establishment you venture into. It's quite unfortunate. does anybody read this crap anymore? Reminds me of scrolling past giant fans old posts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 13, 2016 does anybody read this crap anymore? Reminds me of scrolling past giant fans old posts. He hasn't been relevant since 2013. Guess he didn't get the memo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,462 Posted December 14, 2016 Getting close man... I know you're still watching. i wasn't watching the game, just saw the score on my phone and saw a safety and int for the pats and maybe 1 catch for pitta and assumed i'd lose. guess in the end all I needed was a TD catch. Saw some highlights and looked like Flacco was locked onto him mid 4th when he got sacked and they opted for the FG... right before the hogan bomb. the game was lost when i opted for fleener over marvin jones anyways, congrats and good luck next round Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kutulu 1,600 Posted December 15, 2016 Pretty sure my luck runs out this week Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 15, 2016 Pretty sure my luck runs out this week Never retreat. Never surrender. You are a two time Die Nasty World Champion of the Universe. You have pedigree. Figure out a way to win. That being said.... UNDERCARD: Proctos vs Peaches: The fake docs do have the team to beat. His RBs are second to none at the moment. His #2 and #3 WRs are inconsistent, but wildly talented. Then there is the great ODB, whom the El Padrino fully confesses to attempting to trade for approximately 35 times this season. The great Beckham should be a fellow El Padrino. He is a fit for our organization's explosiveness and swagger. As I eyeball that player that belongs on my roster on the other side of the draw, I can't help but be reminded of Sidney Deane and Billy Hoyle eyeballing Dwight and Willie with an understanding of what is to come. If the veteran Peaches hope to win this matchup, they'll need to dominate the QB position. The fake docs must choose either Dak or Famous Jameis. Either could flame out and put up an 8 pt game. But indoors and both due for bouncebacks, either could go off as well. On the other side, the Cam vs Brady debate is going on. Assuming Cam's shoulder is ok, I like the gamble of starting him. Brasy is safe, but his ceiling is limited this week. Whereas Cam's isn't on a Monday night against a poor defense. THE MAIN EVENT: The Die Nasty El Padrino vs the RomoLovers The El Padrino is confident that he has put his team in place to win this one, but in any one week single eliminator, we are always nervous. This one starts fast tonight, as his Russel Wilson faces off with my Jimmy Graham and Seattle's Defense. I had considered benching FF's #3 TE, as punishment for his not being FF's #1TE, but then I realized that this would give me an opportunity to use The Cancel Out Theory against Mobb. This is the difference between the El Padrino and other owners. Not only are we the handsomest and most talented, but we also know every strategic trick in the book and will use them to our every advantage. Beyond said strategy, this bout will lean heavily on just a select few NFL games. Both of my RB's face play in the 10 degree Kansas City weather against Mobb's TE and Kicker. That should be an advantage my way. For Oakland, his Michael Trabtree vs my Amari Cooper is a swing state, as either can go off. If we play to our paper, we should be in good shape. Our biggest concerns are weather issues and a random Romosexual such as Bilal Powell or Jeremy Hill exploding. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 15, 2016 I shall punish you for your lack of tolerance for Tony Homo's sexuality. If not for the butt fumble, Tony Homo would be known as the biggest choker, not named Michael Sam. And choking is exactly what The The Father is about to do. I will admit that over the years you have taken advantage of some of the leagues mental midgets. That advantage of preying on the two weakest team in the league year after year has helped you accumulate quite an arsenal. But sir, your time in the spotlight ended several years back, and I intend to do everything in my power to keep it that way. After this week, you will be forced to look at your aging squad and consider an entire rebuild, or risk falling the way of the other pathetic teams in your division. Some may say my chances are slim. It is true, I will be without the best player on my team, but I got a three point plan to fix everything. Number one: we got this guy Bilal Powell. Number two: he's got a higher IQ than any running back alive. And number three: he's going to fix everything. And while I have no idea what sort of nagger would name their kid Bilal, I know he is the guy we shall all look back upon as the "difference maker". To use an analogy, if you trade away $10 and get $10 back, you are cool if it happens, and cool if it doesn't. It's when you are giving away $5 and getting back $10 that you'll be pissed if the trade doesn't go through. Kind Regards, The Mish 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 18, 2016 The El Padrino is troubled. Why you ask? Some would believe he is troubled because he miraculously got zero touchdowns out of Aaron Rodgers, Demarco Murray, Spencer Ware, Antonio Brown, and Jimmy Graham, players who combined average approximately 16 touchdowns per week.But no, this is not why the El Padrino is troubled.The El Padrino is troubled because people are doubting his strategy. They are doubting his knowledge that Amari Cooper is in store for a 35 point game, coupled with failure for the Romononsexuals vaunted WR core. As your king and ruler now and into eternity, I expect more of my subjects. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 19, 2016 All Elway finals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 19, 2016 The 18-0 Patriots....the Japanese after The Battle of Myeongnyang in 1597....the 73 win Warriors....Ivan Drago on Christmas night 1985....Ceasar on the Ides of March, 44 BC.....Mike Tyson, 1990 in Tokyo....The French after the Battle of Agincourt..... These are the only entities in the history of mankind that could possibly even hope to extrapolate their disappointment further outward in an effort to understand the level of shock the fan's favorite organization is feeling on this particular Sunday. Therefore we will not even attempt to explain said disappointment in these moments. As our world's most honorable, graceful, respectful, dignified, and humble franchise, I would like to offer a sincere congratulations to the brave Romosexuals. The strategy and techniques you've applied this week to defeat the deity that is The Die Nasty El Padrino will be examined and written about by assorted scholars for decades upon decades. Men and woman facing battles against all odds will view this Romosexuals victory not only with the goal of applying said techniques, but also as a reminder that anything in this world is possible. Romosexuals, we honor you with the greatest gift man can receive. We honor you with Die Nasty El Padrino respect. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 919 Posted December 19, 2016 The 18-0 Patriots....the Japanese after The Battle of Myeongnyang in 1597....the 73 win Warriors....Ivan Drago on Christmas night 1985....Ceasar on the Ides of March, 44 BC.....Mike Tyson, 1990 in Tokyo....The French after the Battle of Agincourt..... These are the only entities in the history of mankind that could possibly even hope to extrapolate their disappointment further outward in an effort to understand the level of shock the fans favorite organization is feeling on this particular Sunday. Therefore we will not even attempt to explain said disappointment in these moments. As our world's most honorable, graceful, respectful, dignified, and humble franchise, I would like to offer a sincere congratulations to the brave Romosexuals. The strategy and techniques you've applied this week to defeat the deity that is The Die Nasty El Padrino will be examined and written about by assorted scholars for decades upon decades. Men and woman facing battles against all odds will view this Romosexuals victory not only with the goal of applying said techniques, but also as a reminder that anything in this world is possible. Romosexuals, we honor you with the greatest gift man can receive. We honor you with Die Nasty El Padrino respect. The mark of a true champion is both winning and losing with class. It was an honor to compete with such a storied franchise. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,229 Posted December 19, 2016 Figures, the cheater makes the finals. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,850 Posted December 19, 2016 If only The El Padrino had traded for LeSean Mccoy and Drew Brees. Possibly the two mvps of the playoffs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,229 Posted December 19, 2016 If only The El Padrino had traded for LeSean Mccoy and Drew Brees. Possibly the two mvps of the playoffs. everyone that had brees lost last week. he puked all over himself. 257 with no TD MVP HAH! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,850 Posted December 19, 2016 everyone that had brees lost last week. he puked all over himself. 257 with no TD MVP HAH! El Padrino would have bad a bye that week. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MedStudent 56 Posted December 19, 2016 All Elway finals. Good luck. Unlike your opponent this week, I will not be providing any bulletin material for your team. Much respect for a fellow Elway division team. I have been fortunate in the playoffs so far as my opponents did not play up to their potential. I know that this will not be the case with the romosexuals and it will take my best effort to avoid being blown out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,462 Posted December 19, 2016 Elway is far and away the strongest division. We should really be the Montana division to reflect being the best of the three Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,229 Posted December 19, 2016 Derek Henry looks like he might be a player I'd better trade him ASAP Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,462 Posted December 19, 2016 Derek Henry looks like he might be a player I'd better trade him ASAP I'll be in touch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MedStudent 56 Posted December 27, 2016 Nice game Romosexuals. I think you beat me twice in the regular season. Playing in the best division obviously prepared IFP for our playoff run. Going for the threepeat next year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,229 Posted December 27, 2016 Nice game Romosexuals. I think you beat me twice in the regular season. Playing in the best division obviously prepared IFP for our playoff run. Going for the threepeat next year. what a season. you'd have prob lost if he didn't get less than 1 pt combined from 2 running backs. That's some serious Kelley Karma Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 27, 2016 The El Padrino salutes you all on another fine season. Some major story lines for the offseason include: - Last season, I attempted to bring a once beloved poster back into the fold by allowing Medstudent to win a title. The thought being that glory would bring him out of his shell. This season, NapDeep provided a similar gift by dozing off in the middle of a championship match. Such gluttony. Such shame......At some point, Mobb or Med will chime in with a "yeah, but....", but this will not change the facts. MobbNap slept through his only shot, and the name above Med's locker in the 2-time Champion Club will be spelled Med*. With this gift, Med owes it to DNDL to re-emerge and provide us a Behind the Music type account of the great Dakota Skye fiasco. We can all agree. It's really the only non-Padrino story out there that can bring in the ratings. - Then there is the story that the networks and fans care most about. The El Padrino, so powerful, 13-1, so good looking, so dynamic at scoring from anywhere on the field, so elegant. But again a playoff loser. Some writers are drawing parallels the the Brady/Belichick Super Bowl gap. Other scribes are comparing my franchise to Jordan's Bulls and have dubbed Pat and Med to be co-chairs of The Olajuwon Years. Others believe this has been an intentional strategy laid out by The El Padrino in order to bring life back into the league, as we have all seen how Floyd Money Mayweather's PPV numbers dropped when it became apparent there was no opponent out there that can challenge him. It's a cliffhanger, and the world will stay tuned, proviong that I've again done my job. So again, congrats to Med and congrats to all on another successful season. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gocolts 300 Posted December 28, 2016 Great season bro and congratulations on the big win. A repeat is pretty focking amazing, almost BEYOND BELIEF. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,462 Posted December 28, 2016 Congrats. I enjoyed being part of the league. Thanks for the invite Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,229 Posted December 28, 2016 We are going to do a reverse league next year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 825 Posted December 28, 2016 We are going to do a reverse league next year. Just lay out the rules and I'll dominate at that as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,462 Posted December 29, 2016 probably something where i repeatedly get the last pick Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteWonder 2,462 Posted December 31, 2016 I think this league slumbers for a while in the offseason but is trading open? Edit: looks like it opens up tomorrow Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gocolts 300 Posted January 2, 2017 I think this league slumbers for a while in the offseason but is trading open? Edit: looks like it opens up tomorrow I am not so sure about that, but then again, I still can't even figure out the waiver wire. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
