Disney Announces ‘Indiana Jones 6’ Starring Harrison Ford’s Corpse

[seafoam1 2,382]

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney producers announced a new installment in the Indiana Jones franchise this week featuring the decaying corpse of Harrison Ford his iconic role.

 

 

"We thought we had probably done enough sequels but then someone mentioned how much money we could make parading around the desiccated corpse of Mr. Ford and I thought about how much I like money so I greenlit the project immediately!" Disney Producer Kathleen Kenedy told reporters. "With the magic of CGI, we're going to just de-age Harrison so he looks alive again. It's a new technology the White House has been using for Biden's press conferences for a few months now."

The world had breathed a collective sigh of sadness mixed with relief upon the realization that after Ford's death, they would never again be subjected to additional Indiana Jones sequels. After realizing it hadn't completely drained every ounce of credibility out of the beloved franchise even after that vine-swinging scene in Crystal Skull and three-fourths of Dial of Destiny, Disney decided they would dig up the resting bones of one of America's most well-known actors to give things another go.

"Indiana Jones And The Reanimated Corpse Of Indiana Jones should be a box office smash!" Kennedy remarked. "Our best people are already working on using Ford's cadaver in ways that honor and respect the deceased actor, like a scene where they launch his carcass off the end of a cliff in a little inflatable raft into a river."

At publishing time, Disney had announced it would also be digging up the bones of the dog that played Benji in the beloved 80s franchise for an additional three installments and was considering unthawing the cryogenically frozen head of Walt Disney to see what he thinks about all the gay stuff they're up to these days.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 3,172]

I have ZERO doubt this is already in pre-production.  Except Indiana Jones will be a black, gay, trans-woman.  DEI to the rescue!!

[weepaws 2,782]

7 minutes ago, EternalShinyAndChrome said:

I have ZERO doubt this is already in pre-production.  Except Indiana Jones will be a black, gay, trans-woman.  DEI to the rescue!!

You sound very excited about that.  Calm down Jr. 

[Herbivore 987]

Thread title should be..Example of how Righties don't get comedy.

[TheNewGirl 1,163]

5 minutes ago, Herbivore said:

Thread title should be..Example of how Righties don't get comedy.

I got it. Made me laugh, actually. 

[EternalShinyAndChrome 3,172]

14 minutes ago, weepaws said:

You sound very excited about that.  Calm down Jr. 

You sound like a charlatan that doesn't know how to read, understand and respond to words. 

[Herbivore 987]

13 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

I got it. Made me laugh, actually. 

this confirms my post..

[Hardcore troubadour 13,678]

52 minutes ago, Herbivore said:

Thread title should be..Example of how Righties don't get comedy.

Thinks Amy Schumer is a hoot. 

[seafoam1 2,382]

2 hours ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Thinks Amy Schumer is a hoot. 

The truth. 

[IGotWorms 3,816]

3 hours ago, Herbivore said:

Thread title should be..Example of how Righties don't get comedy.

In peefoam’s defense, he thought it was real  

[seafoam1 2,382]

36 minutes ago, IGotWorms said:

In peefoam’s defense, he thought it was real  

Liberals are so stupid. Ringworm helps prove it every day. 

[WhiteWonder 2,416]

on a serious note, if you just pretend Cystal Skull doesn't exist.... Dial was a good (hopefully) final movie ..... okay it COULD have been a good final movie if they just avoided the actual time travel. Make it clear that it's possible but stop it short of actually seeing Indiana Jones interact with freaking archimedes 

anyway, I know. not for serious discussion

I am sure there will be more movies under the Indiana Jones umbrella and they will star his god daughter from the most recent film

[Tree of Knowledge 1,246]

Had to be The Bee?  Seriously, Disney is dropping the bag on some big movie franchises (Star Wars and Marvel) and one they probably should have not picked back up (Indiana Jones).

[Voltaire 4,789]

They should reanimate Jim Varney's corpse to make more Earnest movies, only this time upstage him with a lesbian niece, and make everybody they meet a tranny.